Bad Idea

An Ode to Coded Language

After reading an editorial in the New York Times by Barbara Ehrenreich and Dedrick Muhammad, I was rather upset about the state of political discourse in this country. While running afterward, I started composing a response. It ended up in the form of a poem:

An Ode to Coded Language

From the radio and the television,
flowing through the Internet's tubes
comes a rallying cry,
"Arise, take your rightful place!"
This poem is for you, defenders of tradition.

I sit here astounded by your similes
(literary allusions, no doubt):
you proclaim that social programs are watermelons,
and that the chicken being promised for every pot
is fried.

When the party was going well,
the banks said we would be fools not to buy,
and you happily agreed.
Now that the hangover is here,
you lament the way that power was wielded
for the last 8 years by (who else to blame?)
Maxine Waters.

You espouse your traditional mores
chastising criminals who use chemicals to cope
and like Jacob you brag
(just a bit away from the microphone)
that you have enough love for Leah,
and for her sister Rachel.

You long for the days
when the Real Americans walked proudly
with tears in their eyes
to settle dusty new lands
carrying nothing but a carton of Marlboros
and a case of Jack Daniels.

Go ahead, wrap yourselves in your flag,
telling those that hide under their sheets at night,
afraid of the shadows,
that the cross has been borne.
So gather 'round outside,
all that's left is to light a bonfire.

Glen and Rush and Sarah,
this ode is to you.
You tell your crowds what they want to hear
but can't quite say.
I see what you do.
To quote a wise man,
"You're hurting our country."

After writing it, I felt better. If it helps you, feel free to edit it, or pass it on.

Baby Gewndolyn has arrived

Our first child, Gwendolyn Iyanu, was born June 7, 2007, at 6:19 am. She was 7 lbs, 15 oz. She scored a 9.9/10.0 on Apgar test, which means she was very alert and responsive. We are all very happy.

Thandi and Mike Will Be Parents!

We found out today that Thandi is 6 1/2 months pregnant! By June, we will have a baby girl!

Now, you might be asking yourself, why did we only learn that today?

It is a long story, although in a few months it will probably be hilarious. For the past few years, Thandi had some symptoms that led a couple doctors to conclude that she had a condition that would make it hard for her to become pregnant (ovarian cysts). Some of those symptoms got worse last September, and in addition Thandi started feeling nauseous and fatigued. She went to her doctor (a M.D.-Ph.D at UCLA, who is also an assistant professor) and had a standard pregnancy test that turned up negative. Her doctor diagnosed her as having a mild stomach virus.

Over the next few months, her symptoms persisted, and she returned to her doctor several times. In November, she had to see another doctor because her first had an emergency, and that second doctor prescribed an ultrasound, because she thought she felt something in Thandi's abdomen. Thandi had the ultrasound taken on December 1, but when she called back a few days later to get the results, no one could give them to her. Her doctor didn't return multiple calls and faxes, so by the end of December, Thandi decided to switch doctors.

She finally got a new doctor, and an appointment near the middle of January. However, although the new doctor got most of Thandi's medical records from the old one, the ultrasound was nowhere to be found. Thandi told her new doctor all of her symptoms, and added that she wasn't pregnant (based on the diagnosis in September). The new doctor suggested Thandi see a metabolic specialist.

In the last week, Thandi started to feel the kicking from what we now know is a baby girl. Worried, she made more efforts to get her ultrasound. She ended up calling the patient advocate at UCLA medical, who faxed her the report from the ultrasound. There it was, on one sheet of paper, clearly written: on December 1, Thandi was 14 weeks pregnant. And no one bothered to let her know. Thandi watches a lot of Discovery Health Channel shows, so given the past diagnoses that suggested she would have a hard time getting pregnant, you can only imagine the theories she had come up with for her illness. The news was a shock and a relief.

This morning, we went to another doctor, and OB-GYN, and had an ultrasound taken. The baby seems to be an active, 2 1/2 pound girl. We'll be having the standard tests done in the next few weeks, but everything seems to be working out fine.

Ten Commandments

Liberals argue that displaying the Ten Commandmants in public buildings represents an attempt by the state to establish religion. Conservatives argue that the Ten Commandments serve as the foundation of our country's laws, and is therefore a historical document just like the Mayflower Compact, the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution.

I think that one obvious fact has not been emphasized enough in this debate: very few of the commandments actually have anything to do with the laws of this country. Below is my proposed compromise solution to the controversy. I have modified the monument on the grounds of the Texas State Capitol (original image courtesy of Wikipedia).

As with all compromises, this should make no one happy. Except me, of course.